Baba, please, when a parent sees that a child is about to make a decision that will not be in the child’s best interests and only lead to the child’s suffering, should a parent just stand by and let it be, or more actively be involved? Thank you, Susan
Though parents have a natural instinct to feel what is good for their children, not always what they feel is right.
Each child comes in this world with a blue print of his or her own life. The child has to go through it all to learn the same way their parents made mistakes in life and have learned hard lessons which they quite naturally don’t want to see happening in the lives of their own children.
Not always sufferance should be seen as something punitive. It could have deep lessons for any soul in its movement toward higher spheres of life of the spirit.
Yes, the parents should be actively involved in guiding the children toward a safer and better path of life. But the whole process of guidance should have to be in the spirit of friendship and not one of control and expectation. The more the parents have a tendency to get actively involved more the child feels being controlled which they don’t see as something very welcome at a time when personal freedom is what they value the most. Hence, the parents should not start with the assumption that being parents they can force their children to always listen to what they say, and do things accordingly. The parents have to learn to trust the Divine and share more and more positive divine light with the children and try to appreciate their positive traits more than the negative behavioral patterns.
By talking about the positive qualities of child you are trying to have more space in their heart and that is the most important thing to happen first, friendship. Once the child feels comfortable to share with their parents things of their life without fear and reservations the doors to active participation for positive parenting opens up. The beauty is, in this process, you are not forcing, and presuming that what ever is said would be carried as orders, but you are waiting for your right time, at the right place, to open your heart to share what you think would be in the best interest of your child. Say, what you have to say without the slightest hope that it would be followed. Just say it with the trust that your child will see the light of your sharing as if it is coming from a source without command and expectation of control.
This is the way to a happy parenting where the parents are not stressed due to the children’s changing behavioral patterns. Accept the pattern as it is, and see the positive possibilities, and start with a very positive attitude of detachment while working from the plane of your uplifted Spirit.
I am sure both the parent and the children will have their own freedom while working their karmic ends without creating fresh karmas of dissatisfaction and frustration.
For all of this, spiritual anchor is fundamental. Through the light of the spirit you can work wonders.
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