Baba, the expectation of the appearance of my other half and waiting for her has now changed. Yes! It is true that I still desire her existence but I realized that I no longer need her. Now I just want to make everyone around me feel happy…..feel special, which they all truly are. But alas, I have a feeling I won’t be successful because I don’t actually love myself. I like myself because Shiva and everyone around me loves me. I just can’t figure out that pure reason to love myself. Nature, God, You, Ma and everyone is doing everything for me. I feel like I am not doing anything worthy, thus, how can I love myself?